How to Build a Team That Doesn’t Collapse When You Step Away
How an unexpected trip to the ER exposed what I thought I knew about leadership and what I had to unlearn about it.
You don’t expect your leadership priorities to be challenged on a random Wednesday. But they can.
I was supposed to be dropping my car off for an oil change Wednesday evening. My wife had to work late, so it worked out that she could pick me up afterward and we could head home and leave the car overnight. By 10 PM, we were sitting in the emergency room. She had been bitten by something. Her foot was reacting badly.
It wasn’t a life or death moment, but, in that moment, everything I thought was urgent got pushed aside by what was actually important.
No calendar event could compete with that.
I didn’t need a plan that night. I needed to be present.
And as I sat in that hospital waiting room, one question wouldn’t leave me alone:
If the organization keeps growing, but you stop showing up where it matters most, is that really leadership?
When Productivity Isn’t the Point Anymore
For years, I bought into the same lie that traps so many high-capacity leaders: that being productive means being present.
If you’re in the room, you’re leading. If your name is on the schedule, you’re showing up. But the truth is, leadership isn't about activity. It's about priority.
That night in the hospital, I realized how often I had confused momentum with significance.
For years, I tried to do everything. I had built systems that required me to always be involved.
And I had missed something critical: if your team can’t function without you, it’s not leadership, it’s dependency.
Before we unpack the shifts this moment created in my life, let’s anchor this in Scripture.
“Moses’ father-in-law replied, ‘What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.’”
— Exodus 18:17–18 (NIV)
This was more than just advice about delegation. It was a warning about self-destruction.
Jethro saw something Moses didn’t. His pace wasn’t just unsustainable. It was unhealthy. It was unhealthy for him and for the people around him.
That’s the tension for modern leaders too. We think we’re carrying things well, but we’re often just laying down what’s important to carry what’s calling our name. And when crisis hits, we realize what we've built doesn't run without us.
That’s not leadership. That’s a self-created risk.
What The Unexpected Teaches That Success Never Will
Some of the most important leadership lessons don’t come from books or boardrooms. They come when everything goes sideways.
In that waiting room, I didn’t just reflect, I realized that I had to repent. Because I saw that I had built a leadership rhythm that depended too much on my presence and not enough on my team.
Here’s what that moment taught me:
If your absence creates panic, you’ve built the wrong kind of influence.
If everything falls apart when you're unavailable, your systems need more work.
If being unavailable reveals how overcommitted you've become, you’ve ignored the Exodus 18 warning for too long.
Your team doesn’t need you to be available for everything. In fact, if they do, you’ve likely failed them.
They need you to build a culture where leadership happens even when you’re not in the room.
Healthy Leadership Disappears at the Right Time
Strong leaders don’t just show up when it’s expected. They step back when it’s needed.
Jesus modeled this constantly.
He withdrew from the crowds. He trusted His disciples with responsibility. He went up the mountain while they stayed below. And sometimes, when the moment was most chaotic, He was silent because He had already prepared the people He empowered.
In Exodus 18, Jethro tells Moses plainly: if you don’t change your leadership model, you’re going to burn out. And everyone you’re trying to help will be burdened by your inability to release control.
That’s the leadership crisis no one talks about.
The more indispensable you think you are, the more fragile your culture actually becomes.
Five Shifts That Redefined My Leadership Framework
That ER visit didn’t just change my weekly plan. It reshaped how I look at leadership long-term. Here are five shifts I know I need to continue making to build the healthiest organization possible:
1. Value Presence Over Performance
When everything feels urgent, choose to be present where it matters most.
You can always make another phone call. You can’t always recover missed moments with the people who need you to lead with presence, not just decisions.
Performance fades. Presence leaves a mark.
2. Build Systems That Outlive You
If every solution has to come from you, you’ve built a bottleneck.
Your systems should reflect your leadership, not rely on it. Build clear decision paths. Establish rhythms of communication. Create clarity around responsibility.
The best teams function well without constant oversight because the leader refused to design a system that collapses in their absence.
3. Ensure Delegation Includes Authority
Delegating tasks without authority is a setup for resentment.
If you trust someone enough to carry weight, trust them enough to make calls. Empower people to act and not just execute. That’s how you multiply influence instead of manage everything manually.
This was Jethro’s instruction to Moses. Teach them. Appoint them. Let them lead.
4. Create Margin for the Unexpected
Most calendars have no room for interruption and that’s why most leaders break down during them.
Life doesn’t schedule emergencies. You have to leave room for the unexpected.
That means building in white space and ensuring that space doesn’t halt operations. Creating flexible windows. Holding non-urgent tasks loosely enough to reschedule without collapse. Delegating what shouldn’t be on your plate.
If your margin is too tight to care for your people in the unexpected, your systems aren’t built to last.
5. Use Crisis as a Leadership Mirror
When life hits hard, your leadership shows up raw. Don’t judge your systems, organization or health based on how things go when there’s nothing wrong. Evaluate them in the crisis moments.
It’s in those moments where you’ll discover:
What kind of culture you’ve built
How prepared your team actually is
Whether your leadership can pause without everything else falling apart
Use the unexpected to truly test your assumptions.
What doesn’t survive disruption wasn’t sustainable in the first place.
How to Build Leadership That Doesn’t Break Under Pressure
You can’t control when life interrupts your plans. But you can build a leadership rhythm that’s ready when it does.
Here’s how to put all of this madness into practice:
Step 1: Create a Dependency Audit
Start with a simple question: what would fall apart if I disappeared for two weeks?
Would your team keep moving? Would key projects still advance? Would people know where to go and what to do?
If not, that’s not a failure, it’s a starting point.
Make a list of your current leadership responsibilities and mark the ones that depend 100% on you. That’s where you need to start building margin and structure.
Step 2: Redesign Your Systems with Clarity
Leadership systems don’t need to be complex. They need to be clear.
Schedule weekly check-ins that don’t depend on your presence to keep momentum.
Document key decisions and processes so others have context and clear instruction if you’re unavailable.
Identify bottlenecks and break them through delegation, not micromanagement.
Clarity is what allows teams to keep moving when leaders step out. Don’t just hope people will figure it out. Prepare them.
Step 3: Train People Beyond Their Roles
Your highest-potential team members don’t just need your encouragement. They need your influence.
Expose them to how you think. Walk them through decisions. Invite them into strategy, not just execution.
One of the best questions you can ask is: “If I had to step away for a month, who could carry this load?”
Then ask: “Have I prepared them to?”
That’s a legacy-building leadership model.
Step 4: Create Space for Intentional Absence
It’s one thing to build space for emergencies. It’s another to build rhythms that keep you from needing the emergency room in the first place.
Create weekly space for rest, reflection, and emotional processing that allows you to step back and someone else to step in when things aren’t falling apart.
Creating opportunities for others to lead before they’re needed to lead will make all the difference in the world when building a sustainable leadership team.
You’re not weak for needing to step back. You’re wise for being intentional with it.
Step 5: Redefine Your Priorities with Intentionality
Stop believing the lie that being everywhere equals leading well.
Jesus was never in a rush. He stayed long where it mattered most. He trusted others with responsibility. He led with intention, not hyper availability.
If you’re always trying to be everywhere, eventually you’ll be nowhere of significance.
Choose intentional presence over volume. And build systems that allow you to do both with excellence.
Build What Won’t Collapse in Crisis
Exodus 18 is more than an organizational framework, it’s a leadership warning. Jethro didn’t just give Moses advice. He gave him a rescue plan.
“The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”
— Exodus 18:18 (NIV)
It was never about exhaustion. It was about sustainability. Moses’ mission wasn’t in danger because of outside enemies. It was in danger because his system wasn’t built to carry what God had called him to lead.
That’s the moment we all face as leaders.
When you realize that showing up isn’t enough.
When you discover that being busy doesn’t equal being fruitful.
When you understand that legacy doesn’t depend on how much you do but on how well you equip others to lead in your absence.
So here’s your challenge:
Review your rhythms this week.
Ask what your leadership reveals when life gets interrupted.
And commit to building something that holds when you need to pause.
Because real leadership doesn’t fall apart in crisis.
It gets revealed, refined, and re-anchored in the only thing that can carry the weight:
Character built on presence.
Systems built with wisdom.
And influence that outlives your calendar.
That’s the kind of leadership worth building.
Keep leading, my friend!
— Jared